so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
