I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You smell like stripper and shame
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
