saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
