booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
