if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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