But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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