I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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