Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
