you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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