never play flip cup with pint glasses
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
