A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
