I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
