I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
