If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
