I wish you could order shots online.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
