This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
