oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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