I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
