giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
