I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
