Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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