hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
