His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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