nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
