why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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