dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
