I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
