OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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