apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
