I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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