It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
