Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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