Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
