We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
