p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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