We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The air was thick with penises
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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