Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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