if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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