Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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