Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
