And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
