Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
