I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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