My nipple is on Facebook.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My ass is underappreciated
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