we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
