So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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