is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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