Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
