i don't like sucking hair
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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