its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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