i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
