so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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