Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize