You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
