Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
