Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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