Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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