Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
