You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
