in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
