and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
